I was reading before the storm hit. The heavens were bellowing with thunder. moments before the rain started. I put down my book and stared out the window that was to my right. As the rain reigned down harder and harder, an urge I’ve had, for sometime now, grew larger and larger. After a few more seconds, I could no longer stifle my desire. I flung myself out of my recliner and stripped my clothes off, only to replace them with a bathing suit. I grabbed a towel and ran down the steps, out the door, out to my backyard. Each raindrop that splattered against my bare skin sent an electric shiver throughout my body. I howled up to the sky, daring the thunder to return my call. Once I was completely soaked, I began to do some yoga. Once I was limbered up, I danced in the rain and continued to howl, laughing at the sheer enjoyment of simply being alive and in that moment. This has been the most spiritually cleansing action I’ve done for myself in quite some time. My recommendation: When you hear the warning shots of thunder, keep a bathing suit close to you.
I have come to figure out what it means to “be in your own world”. I used to think that it simply meant to be zoned out, but now I realize that it’s not just about being in deep thought or not attentive. Being in your own world is to feel as if you’re completely alone in the world. When you don’t feel any outside pressure to act or dress or talk or look any sort of way. No pressure to exist. Everyone else just fades out of the picture until you become interested enough to invite others into your world.
We rolled in the grass, laughing at how simple it all was. Our feet were bare and wind flowed through our hair. We had not one care in the world, besides keeping a smile on the other’s face. The clouds were shaped as we made them up in our minds. Along the edges of our field, there was a fence that we never spoke of. Suddenly, she peers towards the edge and asks, “Does the grass seem greener over there”? That’s a question I’ve occasionally contemplated, but I’d never admit to that. “Looks about the same to me”, I replied. “I think we should move”. She said it so plainly, so bluntly. As if this was a decision she’d already put time into making. “Well I rather like it here”, I said in a cheerfully hopeful tone. “I want to stay”. There was a pause between us. “Well I think I need to go, see it for myself and all”, she finally blurted out. The clouds seemed to take on an angrier demeanor, the more I furrowed my brow. Now, barely able to hide my frustration, I said, “If you feel you must go, than go. If you find yourself feeling as if you’re missing something, you know where to find me”. A few moments passed, in which nothing happened. The few moments, in which I believed she was going to stay, ended. She got up, and with no goodbye, she made her way down to the fence. She then hopped the fence, just as she had pictured herself doing so many times before. I waited days for the sight of her hopping back over, and even though I still saw her from a distance, she never did. My foolish pride and hope kept me at bay for weeks. It was midway into the third week, now. I hadn’t seen her for days. I had tried to avoid even looking towards the fence, the few days before that. I couldn’t take it anymore. I walked over to the fence and paused when it was in front of me. I looked to the ground, from my side, to the other side, to my side, and then back again. “That side is much is much greener”, I sighed with a smile. Although, it was much less to little to do with the place or the actual shade of grass, and more so to everything to do with the person on the other side of the fence. I clasped my hands on top of the fence, and hurled myself over it. I landed with both feet on the ground and examined my new area. “She must be waiting for me, as I was for her”, I thought. I started to walk on, with passion fueling my search. Day turned to night, then night turned back to day. She was nowhere to be found. I spent that day shouting her name, sluggishly running in all directions, and eventually, in a circle. I found myself back at that fence. That same damned fence. Rage, grief, sadness, agony, all took possession of my body, in an almost demonic manner. Night fell onto the land as I spent hours dismantling that fence, and then I burned it. I danced around the flames like a mad man, with the stars as my audience now. I fell back against the soft grass, exhausted, yet overjoyed. I awoke to the birds singing. The sun was just beginning to rise, as the embers from the fire were gradually burning out. The night was a bit of a blurred memory. The pain, the fire, the fence, Her. They were all now a memory. They held no relativity in the present. They were merely a recollection of the past. As the air of acceptance blew me to my feet, I fixed my eyes on the last remaining ember. I walked over to the once resilient fence, ground the ember with the toe of my boot, turned around, and walked away. I was finally moving on.
If you were to leave tomorrow, and you could only say goodbye to one person, who would you say goodbye to? It doesn’t matter where you are going or why you are going. All you know is that you may never see this person again. When you decide on who this person is, I suggest that you do your best to get in touch with them. Have a conversation, take a drive, go on a date, tell them how much they mean to you. Do anything to let this person know that their presence, in your life, has effected you. And I suggest you do it now, because none of us know when our last day Here will be.