The Path Least Traveled Is The One You Create

I am walking a path. Twists, turns, ups, downs. Some time it feels as if I am hopelessly lost. I forget why I’m even here. It is at those times that I become paranoid about the path I’m on. It’s at those times of panic that I usually sit down. I don’t want to move in fear of continuing into the “unforeseeable”

These are my rest periods. As hard as it may be to breathe during these times, these are the times to catch ┬ámy breath. To remember what I’m here for. To look at myself. My cuts and scrapes and scars from all the thorns, falls, and close calls. From all my careless and less than careful moments. I look backwards to the way I’ve been. It’s already been quite a journey. Then, I use a vision that doesn’t require my eyes. I look into myself. I’ve grown so much. That’s what experience does to a person, when they start using their falls as opportunities to learn. Took me a while understand how to view them that way. Took me even longer to understand that I don’t know everything. Ignorance is bliss, and young people are chock-full of ignorance. At least I was, but what can you expect? Most young people have little to no understanding of how the world ACTUALLY works, let alone experience in it. My blessing is that I was so ignorant, so much, while so young. Knowledge is often found powerless against ignorance. The carelessness created from bliss leads to mistake. It is from these mistakes that wisdom can be instilled, if you are willing to learn, that is. You must accept that you may not know as much as you think you do, and you must be willing to learn, in order to grow. I’ve now seen all that I was and all that I’ve done. I see all that I am and can now begin, consciously, doing. The mysticism surrounding the path is now stronger. The unknown is, once again, enticing. The uncertainty is now gone. For I am certain that I will make the best of whatever has yet to come.

You Can

Figure it out. Whatever it is, figure it out. If you want to do something, you can. “Where there is a will, there is a way”, is an old and cliche’ saying, but a saying can only become such if it wields truth. You just need to be willing and be patient. We live in an age where information on any subject is available at our finger tips. Let your curiosity lead you. Let the possibility excite you. No matter what it is that you want to do/be/know/etc., you can do it. Who? What? When? Where? How? And Why?

But the first question is: Are You Willing?

Figure it out.

Baby Steps

My process of thought, prior to putting my pencil to paper is humorous. It’s like my thoughts zip around in my mind; left, right, up, down, and in-between. A frenzy of words that only becomes ordered when I decide to start writing. After that, everything falls into place, for the most part. It’s as if the words that come to me are predetermined, but the opposite is where the truth lies. These words merely drip from mind to hand in a natural succession. It is said that starting can often be the hardest part. I believe this to be true. I would ramble on to myself, silently, for an eternity if I didn’t force myself to write out a word or two. Because once you start, even though you haven’t reached your destination, you’re on your way there. Your potential has transferred into kinetic, and your momentum is now a force to be reckoned with. So go out and FORCE yourself to take that initiative. Whether that first wall will stop you, or give way like a house of cards to a hurricane. Only effort will tell. Take the initiative. Drag yourself into the gym and let the judgement you may feel from others, keep you from leaving. Spout out a couple of words to that cute girl/boy who’s a regular at the coffee shop that you always go to. Crack open that book you started a month ago, that’s been collecting dust for the past 3 and a half weeks. Just start with a few reps, a few words, a few of the necessary steps that it takes to get the ball rolling. Because taking those few steps forward is like sticking your toes into the water of life, and realizing that the water is a lot more comfortable than you thought. This day, this moment is far too precious for you to convince yourself that you’re better off doing it another time.

Welcome

My mind is quite an interesting space to be. It’s not always exciting but nor is it always calm. I can’t say it’s extraordinary, but it is almost never dull, and is absolutely never average. The balance of my mind teeters back and forth on the fence that divides sanity and madness, like a tight rope walker whose had a few drinks. It is not always a good time here, but it is also not always a bad time either. The only constant of my mind, is the fact that it is forever changing. My mind is quite an interesting space to be. I wish I was better at expressing myself in the flesh, so that I could take more of you on a ride, but I’m still working on that. I think that’s one of the reasons I write. To be able to anonymously invite you into a space, where you’re not sure what to expect. To give you a glimpse of the behind the scenes of my person. Feel free to keep your hands outside the vehicle if you wish. Seat belts are recommended, but not required. My mind is easy to get lost in if you fall off the tracks. You have been warned. Please, take your time and float around a bit. Enjoy the ride.

The Secret To Happiness

Be grateful. Who would’ve thought that the secret to happiness would be so simple, right? Too good to be true? Far from it. Now you’re probably thinking, “But I am grateful”. When was the last time you gave thanks before your meal, and I’m not talking about thanking the server who brought you your food. When is the last time you took a few seconds out of your existence, cleared your mind of all thought, and simply said to no one, “thank you for this meal”? When was the last time you hauled ass through a yellow light, right before it turned red? When was the last time that you you took a few seconds out of your existence to express gratitude for missing the penalty of a traffic ticket, by just a few seconds? Have you ever just been joking around with a couple friends and started to think, “I’m really happy these people are in my life. I’m really grateful they’re here”? Take those few seconds, and tell me that you can’t help but appreciate the company of the people you get to call “friends”. Wiggle your toes. When’s the last time you were thankful for the able-body that you have? This body that allows us to move and dance and be awkward as possible whenever we get nervous. This foot that may tap off-beat, but still feels the music regardless. To still be breathing is a gift. To have the freedoms that we do, is a gift. To be able to experience the good and the bad and feel different ways about both, on a limitless spectrum, is a gift. What we have to do, is what we GET to do. What we’re ABLE to do. Start recognizing the things that make your life the way it is, and simply express gratitude for those things. If we choose to over look being thankful, we tend to forget about the little things that make our life so great. Turns out, it really is the little things that matter most. Thank you so much for reading.

I Write, Therefore I Am

I used to always feel as if I was not meant for this world. In fact, part of me still feels that way. I will always credit writing to be one of the main reasons I still exist on Earth. Writing is my tie to this world. Often it feels as if my writings belong here, but I do not. But my writings come from my thoughts, and my thoughts come from myself. Without me, there would me none of my writings. Without my writing, what would be of me?

The Stranger In The Mirror

He locked the bathroom door and turned the faucet on. A few handfuls of cold water, to the face, might do the trick. He let the water cool his skin, soaking into his pours. After taking extra care in rubbing his eyes, he peers up into the mirror. The reflection is wearing the same startled, confused look that he is. “What the fuck”, he mutters. The water, slipping from his lips into his mouth, prompted him to grab the towel from the rack on his left. “I must be going crazy”, he said into the towel. “Going crazy?”, he heard himself say. “Going, implies that the destination hasn’t already been reached”. He laughed into the towel, then put it down to face the mirror once again. “So that’s being pretty modest of you , don’t you think?” There was no laughter this time. An air of concern now hung around him, and it wasn’t because that question hit a soft spot, that he was already joking around. His concern was caused by the fact that he had watched himself say this aloud, yet he knew he hadn’t moved his lips. “Shit”, he said this time. “Shit, is right”, his reflection stated. “I believe we have some catching up to do.”

I Used To Hate The Rain, But Lately I Find Myself Praying For A Thunderstorm

I was reading before the storm hit. The heavens were bellowing with thunder. moments before the rain started. I put down my book and stared out the window that was to my right. As the rain reigned down harder and harder, an urge I’ve had, for sometime now, grew larger and larger. After a few more seconds, I could no longer stifle my desire. I flung myself out of my recliner and stripped my clothes off, only to replace them with a bathing suit. I grabbed a towel and ran down the steps, out the door, out to my backyard. Each raindrop that splattered against my bare skin sent an electric shiver throughout my body. I howled up to the sky, daring the thunder to return my call. Once I was completely soaked, I began to do some yoga. Once I was limbered up, I danced in the rain and continued to howl, laughing at the sheer enjoyment of simply being alive and in that moment. This has been the most spiritually cleansing action I’ve done for myself in quite some time. My recommendation: When you hear the warning shots of thunder, keep a bathing suit close to you.

Invite Only

I have come to figure out what it means to “be in your own world”. I used to think that it simply meant to be zoned out, but now I realize that it’s not just about being in deep thought or not attentive. Being in your own world is to feel as if you’re completely alone in the world. When you don’t feel any outside pressure to act or dress or talk or look any sort of way. No pressure to exist. Everyone else just fades out of the picture until you become interested enough to invite others into your world.

The Grass Is Greener Wherever You Are

We rolled in the grass, laughing at how simple it all was. Our feet were bare and wind flowed through our hair. We had not one care in the world, besides keeping a smile on the other’s face. The clouds were shaped as we made them up in our minds. Along the edges of our field, there was a fence that we never spoke of. Suddenly, she peers towards the edge and asks, “Does the grass seem greener over there”? That’s a question I’ve occasionally contemplated, but I’d never admit to that. “Looks about the same to me”, I replied. “I think we should move”. She said it so plainly, so bluntly. As if this was a decision she’d already put time into making. “Well I rather like it here”, I said in a cheerfully hopeful tone. “I want to stay”. There was a pause between us. “Well I think I need to go, see it for myself and all”, she finally blurted out. The clouds seemed to take on an angrier demeanor, the more I furrowed my brow. Now, barely able to hide my frustration, I said, “If you feel you must go, than go. If you find yourself feeling as if you’re missing something, you know where to find me”. A few moments passed, in which nothing happened. The few moments, in which I believed she was going to stay, ended. She got up, and with no goodbye, she made her way down to the fence. She then hopped the fence, just as she had pictured herself doing so many times before. I waited days for the sight of her hopping back over, and even though I still saw her from a distance, she never did. My foolish pride and hope kept me at bay for weeks. It was midway into the third week, now. I hadn’t seen her for days. I had tried to avoid even looking towards the fence, the few days before that. I couldn’t take it anymore. I walked over to the fence and paused when it was in front of me. I looked to the ground, from my side, to the other side, to my side, and then back again. “That side is much is much greener”, I sighed with a smile. Although, it was much less to little to do with the place or the actual shade of grass, and more so to everything to do with the person on the other side of the fence. I clasped my hands on top of the fence, and hurled myself over it. I landed with both feet on the ground and examined my new area. “She must be waiting for me, as I was for her”, I thought. I started to walk on, with passion fueling my search. Day turned to night, then night turned back to day. She was nowhere to be found. I spent that day shouting her name, sluggishly running in all directions, and eventually, in a circle. I found myself back at that fence. That same damned fence. Rage, grief, sadness, agony, all took possession of my body, in an almost demonic manner. Night fell onto the land as I spent hours dismantling that fence, and then I burned it. I danced around the flames like a mad man, with the stars as my audience now. I fell back against the soft grass, exhausted, yet overjoyed. I awoke to the birds singing. The sun was just beginning to rise, as the embers from the fire were gradually burning out. The night was a bit of a blurred memory. The pain, the fire, the fence, Her. They were all now a memory. They held no relativity in the present. They were merely a recollection of the past. As the air of acceptance blew me to my feet, I fixed my eyes on the last remaining ember. I walked over to the once resilient fence, ground the ember with the toe of my boot, turned around, and walked away. I was finally moving on.